Having no Confidence

I live a life in fear that others won’t like me the way I am. Hell, I don’t like who I am at the moment. When I was 16-19 I was a massive 120kg. I hated my body. I felt and appeared to myself as disgusting. Truth to the weight gain? I lost my father, ate large meals, lost interest in things I liked, got way too comfortable in my relationship and eventually got lazier and lazier. The depression, fear my boyfriend would leave me and that I wouldn’t be able to have a family one day was the motivation for me to get my ass into gear. I searched online for hours for the best workouts and how to loose weight fast. Going to the gym wasn’t even an option for me as I have bad social anxiety and can’t run and flop around like a sweaty betty in front of anyone. I have tried nearly everything, and found what worked best for me and I went at it. Everyday. Occasionally have the weekend off for rest but I would feel guilty and lazy. I am now nearly 22 and 60kg. looking at the difference on the scales is great, I fit into smaller clothes, cool. But I have no confidence. My body isn’t anywhere near where I thought it would be. I have excess skin everywhere and it won’t go away unless I spend thousands on surgery. I actually feel worse now with body issues than I did before. All this hard work to be left feeling unhappy with myself and insecure in my relationship. I have lost motivation for a while now. I wish I could have the confidence and be happy with what and who I am but I’m not there yet.

XOXO DaiseyDropper

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4 thoughts on “Having no Confidence

  1. Cultures often point to the wrong sources for confidence. Though, certainly, control over the body is one source, it is far from the best. Control over the mind, specifically one’s emotions, is the best singular source. But then, one can control their emotions without doing so productively: they run from their problems, arresting their personal development, rather than learning to face them and improve their lives.

    In truth, “confidence” is a myth. Its the word for “competence” used by those unfamiliar with what competence is. Hell, one can be very emotionally mature, without being confident – which a person shouldn’t be if they’re in a new situation. So, if you want to be confident, be competent. Competence requires experience and mastery of any given set of information.

    You’ve figured out your body. Now figure out your mind and emotions. Then figure out the world, then how reality in general works. Then how other people work. Do all that, and you’ll find yourself competent in most situations, and thus confident. Sounds hard because it is. Culture will often tell you that every problem is solved by wishing. The majority of people, whom therefore influence culture the most, have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about.

    Life’s hard, get to work.

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  2. Everyone suffers fear, lack of confidence and laziness. And sometimes you think it will go away and stay away. We feel others are so confident. Well you will be surprise so many people fake it .. but the thing in life is as the nike motto go …Just Do It. Get out and just do it and keep on kerping on.

    Well done for what ypu have achieved.

    The world is too conscious of the body. It is important to be healthy but some things are excess.

    Create a few goals , focus on them and just get on and do it.

    Everyday start and end on a positive note. I have a page on meditation on my blog . Try those on a daily basis.

    Dont give on yourself .. you are great and you are unique and special .we all are. Live your life full and just be a true person of intergrity and character and the rest will fall in line. Tc

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    1. Thank you so much for these kind words.
      I am aware that others, especially on social media post photos that aren’t real. I am aware others who I would assume to be confident have more insecurities than me. We are only human. I just need to stop letting others get me down. I need to stop wanting that “perfect” image because we all have flaws.
      I am just a very weak individual, I allow myself to feel the emotions I do, I really need to work on that Just Do It motto, again thank you. I’ll be sure to check your page out
      xoxo DaiseyDropper

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      1. Be positive and dont put yourself down. Work on affirmations and gratitude. Say i am good..i am capable .everyone likes me life is ..repeat 21 times 3 times a day. Abd be grateful for what you have. You have food a bed a place to sleep in warmth.. the law of attraction attracts what we think so be positive and pat yourself on the back you have come a long way. On my blog search for affirmation to find thst post, then i wrote one on gratitude and one on journaling. And meditation try. My dear you are brave and you are capable… you are. This post you shared show your capacity and determination..

        You take care and stop putting yourself down… affirmation will really help and so will meditation

        You take care. Speak soon

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