If you keep telling yourself you can’t do it, chances are you probably wont. I have an extremely hard time focusing on anything when all that is in my head is negative and destructive thoughts about myself. Always taking the difficult, bumpy roads rather than the smooth sailing lane.
I have given into my emotions and put myself in the position of hating the girl I am, hating myself for changing and being so weak. I’d repeatedly tell myself that everything is too much. Simple things like getting dressed and putting makeup on is too much. What’s the point?
Isolating myself to the confides of my bedroom for nearly a month, not being able to face anyone because I didn’t have the energy to put the happy face on and make small talk and thinking to myself that no one likes me. I have no value because all I do is disappoint and let the people I care about down. My doctor’s words were “you aren’t in a good mental state, so I don’t think therapy will benefit you right now. Instead, I’ll prescribe you a new anti-depressant which may throw your emotions all over the place and if things get worse to go to the hospital”.
Here I am, a complete mess, and no idea how to move past this.